Cathing Up!

Life is full throttle around here, but things are going well. At the moment I am shirking my cleaning duties just so that I can update all of you on life here at the Harding house.

Blessing #1

Zach was calling Nate by his Chinese name the other day, it is very lyrical so it is fun to say it with the right tones. Nate replied, "I'm not Xi Wei Feng, I'm Nate". We have worked so hard to help him understand that he is part of a family, and to realize that he was given an orphanage name, the Xi is what all the babies in that orphanage were named. He is getting that he belongs, he is part of a family. He had told me recently that in his foster family, all of the children were referred to by their full names. I know that is cultural to some extent, but within families you don't call people by the whole name, that is a more formal, acquaintance practice. In my opinion it sends a subtle message, but that is just me.

Blessing #2

We have some results from the MRI. Nate has no blebs in his stomach or intestines. This means no internal bleeding worries for us. His thigh has a very large bleb in the muscle. We will be going to see a Vascular specialist at JHH in Oct. to find out our options for removal. Chris and I think it is growing. Just the other day I had to explain that he had a "sick" leg, that is why the one is so much larger. He had no idea that it wasn't "normal" to have a size difference. You could see the light go on in his head, no wonder he was mad about the MRI day and having to see all of these doctors. Depending on the type of procedure maybe he can have his scar fixed as well. He did tell me he would like that to look better. I don't blame him at all, it is terrible.

Blessing #3

He is overcoming his shyness and we haven't had a tearfilled silence episode all week long. He is also understanding that to look at Mom and Dad during correction or directions is an okay thing to do. That has been another cultural standard we have found ourselves dealing with. Teaching Nate (and ourselves) that God doesn't want us to "save face" when we are wrong, but he wants our humbleness and repentance.

The more we teach Nate about life through a biblical worldview, the more God teaches us about His desires for our life through that biblical worldview.

Prayer Request: I would ask for you to pray for Nate as he learns his letter sounds and and the names of the letters. We are teaching this while at the same time he is learning to read in the first grade curriculum. If he gets the names and sounds under his belt, I know the reading will only get easier for him. Pray for our patience and understanding, it can become easy to forget the enormity of the task for Nate and to just become frustrated with the fact that he doesn't remember the sound you just said 20x in a row.

----Susanne

Come On Let's Go School

These are the words we heard this morning as Nate stood in the garage for 20 mins, waiting to leave the house.

You may be asking your self..."I thought you said you were going to homeschool?" You would be correct, but things have changed once again as they so often do around here.

Last Monday I went to confer with the first grade teacher and Principal at the school. We started out talking about how best to include Nate in the classroom every once in a while (field trips, special days, lunch one day a week), to having him come in for an hour every morning and so on. The next thing I knew he was signed up to go to school for the first 3 days all day long. We want to see how he is able to follow along and we will reassess next week. What a wonderful blessing to find a school and people who are willing to work with you and have a desire to see Nate do well.

I was really nervous about leaving him yesterday, but the secretary was so sweet and went in to check on things for me before I officially left the campus.

All of the boys said that they had a really great first day. Nate told us he didn't understand anything the teacher said, but isn't that why he is there? We are hopeful that he will do well in the classroom environment. I am still willing to homeschool him, but I think it would lack a little something for him language wise if it was just the 2 of us, if the other boys were at home with him it would be a different story. I think he is glad to be back into a routine and to be doing something that is somewhat familiar to him.

I'll keep you posted on how things are going.

---Susanne

Hershey Park

To celebrate the end of summer and before we head back to school we took the chance to go to Hershey Park. I love this place, all that chocolate in one place, heavenly.

We started our day with the Scrambler, bad choice, the line wasn't too long, but the loading and unloading of the ride about sent Chris over the edge. Nate was probably wondering what was so great about this place since the boys were hyping it up so much. Next we took on a speed roller coaster, not one with hills and dips. Tough guy Nate was so pumped up about the roller coaster that he was ready to take on a bigger coaster with dad. Bad decision, the next coaster ruined him for the remaining coaster rides of the day. We did coax him on to the Wild Mouse, but that wasn't such a smart plan either. Can this ride really be safe when Mommy has her head buried in the lap of my 9 year old brother and she is yelling, is it over yet?

Time to try the Ferris Wheel, this was also one of the first places I really noticed Nate speaking full sentences. We practically ran to the giant wheel when Nate said...mommy, I want to go on that next! Another highlight of the day was the simple pleasure of the Carousel, that ride is such a trademark of being a child that it was a lot of fun watching his joy as the horse went up and down.

The worst parts of the day came when we realized that we were no longer up for the Parent of the Year Award, when we discovered Kit was walking around with a fever of 103.2, and then the fact finally hit us that these rides aren't for people who drive minivans, have a job, pay the bills and are responsible 30something adults. Neither one of us have ever been motion sick before, but the 2 times I was sitting on the curb with my head between my knees led me to believe I might have met my motion match.

By the last ride of the day, the boys had talked Nate out of his roller coaster fear and back on to one last ride for the day, he loved it! This was one of those days that you think about when you are planning on adopting an older child, you get to see everything with fresh eyes and a new enjoyment.

School starts next week...we'll keep you posted.

Susanne

Hugs and Kisses

Now that Nate is getting more and more verbal with his English, we have been able to ask him a few questions. Lately we have been trying to find out more about his foster family.

I have learned that he has never had a birthday cake, his younger foster brother had had 2 cakes, but he has never had any. His foster parents always called him by his full Chinese name. Now, I know this a custom in China, but you call an acquaintance by their full name and someone that you are familiar with by their first and middle name. He also told us that he didn't get hugs or kisses from his foster parents. I would imagine that statement isn't 100% true, but it must not have been the norm to be hugged and kissed. I am sure that they loved him and I know that they took good care of him, but I am really struck by these revelations.

So many of the things that I learn about Nate and his prior world amaze me when I view them with a biblical worldview. God really does fill the hearts of his people with a love that surpasses the love of the world. Adoption is a true picture of how we were adopted into God's family. He calls us His, He is intimate with us on a first name basis, He holds us in His hand, and shows us that love is truly an action. Amazing Love...

-----Susanne

Are we speaking the same language here?

A few weeks ago, Nate was having one of his episodes where he chooses to withdraw from everyone. He will get upset about something that is seemingly no big deal and then he just shuts down. We are taking the approach of letting him know that no one is upset and he can join us anytime that he wants. We aren't going to let him wallow in his sorrows for too long, usually 30 mins. So Chris went out to talk to him and tried to explain to Nate that he didn't want to be lonely all the time.

Lonely isn't an English word that Nate knows, so Chris looks it up in our English/Mandarin dictionary. So Chris tells him that is isn't good to be "don do", too much, that would be sad, "you don't want to be don do" is the exact quote.
Nate just looked at him strangely and said "No don do". Obviously Chris has the wrong tones on this word and he is saying something that doesn't make sense.

A week later Nate and I are in the bathroom getting ready for bed, Kit was the first kid in there and had left his underpants hanging out on the floor. Nate points to them and says "Kit's don do"!

Translation: Chris told Nate "You don't want to be underwear!" You're right Dad no one wants to be underwear!

----Susanne

Are we speaking the same language here?

Hope it isn't 3 strikes and you're out!

What is black and blue and red all over? Nate's eye after he fell off of his bike and hit the handlebars.

Thought I would post a picture of the damage for your viewing enjoyment!